today is brilliant. :D
it's been full of some of my favourite things, ever.
this is what has happened so far:
* woke up after really good long comfy sleep
* had coffee & cigarette
* had long hot shower
* facial
* died hair
* another shower
* green cordial and cigarette
* put bob's washing on the line (i still think clotheslines are magnificent)
* cleaned room and made it mine again (clean, candles, music, insence...no lights. YUM. favourite place in the world.)
* played spider solitaire and sang at the top of my lungs for a while
* folks left for airport --> turned music up
* did two loads of washing
* sat in sun and painted toenails, moisturised legs and arms, and wiggled my toes
* watched family guy episode where brian is a coke addict
* straightened hair
* came online

k i kinda forget the exact order but that'd the basic gist of it so far.
SO good.
Space.
Alone.
Sun.
Sunglasses.
Things that smell REALLY good.
Green Cordial.
Apple Juice.
Cleaning.
Hair.
Nails.
Comfort.
Relaxing.
Refueling.
And smiling all the way.

This is what i needed.

hello beautiful people.
just reading through my last few blogs - oh my, how depressing they are.
i'm not usually that pessimistic, i promise.
anyway, today is Wednesday 12 July 2006. It is 9:40am.
i am feeling great. :-)

So, why am i awake?
well i'm glad you asked - bob woke me up this morning cuz i had to ring and cancel an appointment, and then i couldn't get back to sleep. That's why.

I am listening to John Butler Trio.
The mug with my coffee in it is pink, and has orange and yellow cats over it, with "little cat" written numorous times...it's part of a series. There's little frog and little sheep etc as well.
i honeslty do not understand these mugs. but i love them. For that, if nothing else. :-)

Last night i was at home. there were 7 people here.
Red wine.
Chocolate.
Spaghetti.
Music.
I sat on the lounge in tim's old room next to the veranda - listening to bob play guitar + sing and shaz accompany him on bass. It was freezing. I was out of red wine. I wanted a cigarette. But it was so beautiful. It was loud. I stayed there for a really long time.

It is FKIN COLD right now. I swear there was a heater in here last night.

I hope no-one is trying to ring. I think i'm borderline OCD or something when it comes to phones. Hehe. Oh dear.....*checks mobile*

Tegan and Sara now.

Okay;
THINGS I HAVE TO DO TODAY:

* cancel appointment
* check email
* call dot
* get some more sleep
* washing
* watch simpsons
* maybe give my school folder a side-glance

cool man. my horoscope for today is:

Other people are transparent to you today, and you enjoy looking into the fishbowl and watching what ideas swim around inside them. That intuitive power of yours has been growing exponentially lately.

aww i can't find a song to match the mood i'm in. this irritates me. i might have to consult my laptop.

ARGH god i hate my hands today. i keep looking at them and freaking out.
My nails from the wedding fell off yesterday...i miss them. :-(

Do be do...what to do. It is so early!!! Hmm...might go back to bed.
BED omg.
Fuck, it just sounds good.
Bed. Bed. Bed.
Yep.
Hehehe.. *titles blog* ..omg the slogan generator. god i forgot about that thing. much fun.

I feel like swimming. If only it wasn't like minus a million degrees.

K the next song will be the mood i'm in:
"Help Help" - Pearl Jam.
aww...*clicks again*
"Oh Yeah" - End Of Fashion.
Yeah k that's good.

well i think i might head off now.
Apologies that this blog is severely lacking substance, but it's always good to ramble.
Omg - "Milk" - The Superjesus.
Yep. This is it. The song that matches my mood that is.
K.
Goodbye all.
Love love love. :-)

Yesterday…..
You said some things today that you really shouldn’t have. They echoed in my head all day, bouncing of the sides of my brain and stirring up all the shit that I hoped was fading.
But you weren’t to know that.
I can’t be mad at you – but then, I felt like I needed someone or something to…i don’t know, blame it on.
It wasn’t your fault. I mean yeah okay, it was, but you didn’t mean it, and you weren’t intending to bring me down and put a massive cloud over the entire day…and blaming myself sends me spiralling….
Maybe I should have just said something? But then, what would I say? What the fuck would I say to explain…?
I’m sorry I acted the way I did. And I’m sorry that I didn’t explain why. I’m sorry you don’t understand this.

Today...
...was very similar.
At one stage I was sitting in the girls’ toilets, bawling my eyes out. I wish I could say that isn’t something I’d normally do. But if it’s any consolation it’s the first time in a while.
Anyway. Not really in a bloggy-mood.
Putting on the "brave face" - all happy and sociable - is really fucking exhausting when all you really want to do is crawl into somewhere dark and quiet and chew off your fingernails.
But it's a hell of a lot LESS exhausting than trying to come up with an explanation for it all and then repeating it a thousand times to all the people that ask the dreaded question.
Yeah k over this now. I'll write a decent blog one day, i swear. 
Though, I have been a lot happier recently. I just can't seem to write on here unless there is something plauging my brain. If anyone knows the correct spelling of that word, plz comment.
I can't be fucked looking for a dictionary, and my computer is too slow to check it on microsoft word.
Replied to a letter today - with my sparkly pens. Made me smile out loud. And lead to me rummaging around in my memories box/bag/thing to find a pink sparkly bracelet given to me many years ago by a very very beautiful person. In the letter i told her "always take time to smell the flowers" - and after my long line of thought which extended through the letter-writing process and the rummaging through memories, that quote will now be forever attached to the bracelet.
Yeah that's a happy enough note to leave on.
Goodnight all.

"perfect blue buildings" - counting crows.
good song for the moment.

i feel physically sick.
massively tired. but there is no point in sleeping right now. i'd have a dodgy sleep and wake up feeling worse than i do right now. and then have to go to school and be all smiles and cheers for 7 hours, then come home and think myself further into this rut.
So no. I'm going to stay awake until i can find some possible way to ease my brain, and get some of the fog out before tomorrow.

"round here" - counting crows.

feeling very much like counting crows.

and also feel like saying things i wouldn't usually say. just to see how people would react. and to see how i would react. from these reactions i can see if what i said was true.
i knew this would happen. mind you i thought it would occur to me a lot sooner than it did.
don't do this.
really.
what the fuck are you doing.

it's one of those times where, had u walked in a year ago, you'd have found me eating halved peaches from a can, bawling my eyes out and singing bonnie tyler at the top of my lungs.

"anna begins" - counting crows.
"i'm sure there's something in the shade of grey, something in between..."

but now? i am listening to the crows. drinking tea. not blinking. staring at screen.
"someone stole my shoes but there's a couple of bananas and a bottle of booze"
yep.

"fly away to somewhere new. fly away to someone new."

oh. my. god.
if my emotion right now could be a colour, it would be teal.
if it could be a fruit, it would be a grapefruit.
it's shape would be a rhombus.
the song is "perfect blue buildings" (again).
and if it could be a person, it would be bill cosby.

and that is all.
 

....found some old puter-art i'd done when i was cleaning out my folder - kind of inspired me in a number of ways. i'd post it here but...yeah, i'm not going to.

i am: talking to murton, writing a blog, drinking tea.
today: sucked MOULDY ASS...so much for tuesdays being great.

noticed a lot of things today...they're not really appropriate for the blogosphere, but are still worth mentioning.

...hrm, that didn't make any sense.
moving swiftly onwards... 

from now on i want to allow more time in my life for CONVERSING.
yeah okay, i do a lot of it.
online, on the fone, through sms, at school, at home....
but most (if not all) of it is for a purpose.
i forget how wonderful it is to just sit and talk to someone about stuff.
nothing in particular - just letting the conversation flow in which ever direction it pleases.

this afternoon, i caught the bus home.
ron drove me home from the bus stop because it was raining.
i sat on the veranda with a cup of tea and a cigarette, listening to the rain.
HOME.
fucking brilliant place to be right now.
then i had a bath/shower, listened to the rain, and to along with the theme of water drops falling, had a bit of a cry - vomitting up the negative moodcake i guess.

i am half awake now.
have been asleep all day.
honestly, i can only remember tiny bits of today - and they all suck.
it seemed to drag on, forever.

i am craving tomato sauce.

the mug i'm drinking tea out of has chickens on it.
six of them.
they're eating worms.

i had delta goodrem stuck in my head during maths today.
if i can remember correctly - which is a pretty big if - that's when things started going downhill.
i like maths, maths is okay.
the work is easy, the company is good...
though sometimes - the topic of conversation - paired with the voice in my head - is quite capable of destroying a whole lesson/day/week...
hrm. yeah, okay - remember now.
that would explain it.

it gets me really angry. like, red-angry.
and really sad....blue-sad.
and really confused....just-confused.

I = red+blue+confused
  = purple+confused
  = purfused

:. I = one huge-big-purfused-negativ e-moodcake.

and that is the equasion of my day.
no wonder it sucked.
god general maths rocks. as in the class, not like...ehh fuck it.

i wish i didn't believe you sometimes.
and that is all i have for today.
goodnight everyone.

I am sitting in my cube, listening to the Hilltop Hoods.

I see: my room - washing baskets and bags of clothes everywhere after an unfinished mission to clean out my wardrobe.
I hear: the wise words of suffa emcee pumping through my computer speakers.
I smell: insence, the heater, paint fumes.
I taste: sweet tea and cigarette.  
I feel: physically – the keyboard keys, somehow softer than usual; emotionally – content, and tired, I guess.

...Yes, my heater smells.
I was going to write – handwrite – because I haven’t written for a while. But I decided to type instead, because well…I guess I’m in a typey mood.

Thinking about…stuff. Always a dangerous past-time.
I wish I could just accept some things for what they are. Why is it that the human race will not settle for anything unless it is justified?? And, how/when does this ‘justification&rsqu o; occur? Are they really reasons, or just excuses? Do we only believe it if some man in a white coat from a science lab tells us it’s true? Everything we know is from what someone else told us. And they only know it from what someone else told them. And if we do happen to teach ourselves anything, we strive for justification, picking out evidence from everything else we already know. Are we just curious beings, or are we possibly so insecure that we won’t even look at the sky until we know why it is blue?

Errghh the irony of the above paragraph is just a lil too much for this time of night.
 
I hate stuff like that – where you analyse something to such a depth that you just end up arguing with yourself and then when you read over what you’ve written you’re not sure if you even understand, believe, or agree with one word you’ve written.

  
Several times throughout my life I’ve been told I think too much. I don’t think I think enough.
There is so much to think about. Seriously….there are absolutely no barriers, we can think about anything. And there is constantly fuel being thrown on the fire of thought. So how can someone possibly think too much? Does everyone think the same amount, just on different levels? Is it all about thought-management?
Is it one of those quality/quantity things?
Though sometimes, I do get unspeakably sick of my brain – and would give anything to turn it off completely.
I can’t help philosophising though. It’s genetic, I swear.

I tend to see everything as if it were a photograph, or a metaphor, or a scene from a movie, or an artwork, or a song….everything.
People, places, actions, conversations, moments.
Colours, time, words, images, movements, space….
Each of these pinned up along the walls of my brain.
Seriously – the inner shell of my head is COVERED in these. Like a giant collage.
If it were a room, it would have posters from floor to ceiling. I wonder if that is why I always cover the walls of my bedroom in posters. Maybe I’m subconsciously trying to set up a living space similar to my brain. If that’s the case, I think I need to do some spring cleaning.
It’s okay – I don’t really expect you to have any idea what I’m going on about.

Aside from my late-night ramble, everything is going quite well.
It must be a good sign when I’m beginning to disbelieve my self-talk. I’d say there’s a fair chance that the negativity of it all was a significant contributing factor to what brought me down in the first place.
It’s nice – almost refreshing – to argue with the voice in my head telling me the types of things it does.
As random as this may sound – it’s really given me insight into what a bullied kid might feel like. I’m not sure if it’s better or worse though – I guess in both cases there is a dreaded voice in your head 24/7...but when you realise it’s your own voice talking…
Yeah…anyway, they seem to be very similar situations.
_________________________ _________________________ ________________

Okay, now it is 9:34pm on Monday night, i am in the study.
I wish i had the internet in my room, then i could write posts from the cube more often. But its not too much trouble to type it there and then transfer it to this puter so meh im not complaining. :)
Anyway. Tomorrow is Tuesday. I like Tuesdays.
And i think that will do for tonight.
In a good mood.
A mood is so much like a giant cake - in that you can cut it up into lots of pieces and hand them out to other people...or you can just sit and devour it all by yourself. handing it out is so much more fun though- when it's a positive mood anyway. When it's negative i guess it's best to just eat it all and then vomit it up or something. :S
Hrm, okay, going now.
Love to all.

ONE is how many people i have talked to on MSN today.
TWO is how many emails i had from Julie.
THREE is how many Internet Explorer windows i have open.
FOUR is how many times i vomited last night.
FIVE is how many coffees i have had today.
SIX is the exact time right nnnnnow.
SEVEN is the channel we were watching cartoons on this morning.
EIGHT is the number of minutes it took me to think of something to write for this one.
NINE is my absolute earliest wake up time tomorrow morning.
TEN out of ten is how much i wish i took more photos last night.
ELEVEN is how many days it has been since my last blog.
TWELVE is how many junk emails i had. :(
THIRTEEN is how many minutes past six it is.
FOURTEEN is roughly the number of seconds i spent contemplating the sentence structure of the above statement.
FIFTEEN is the weirdest-spelt word...omg. :|
SIXTEEN is the number of years i have been alive.
SEVENTEEN is the number of little lines on the metal thing holding the shelf up on the wall.
EIGHTEEN twenty-one is the time right now, in 24hr time.
NINETEEN is how many magnets are on the filing cabinet beside me.
TWENTY is how many new emails i had.

...i was thinking before: if 10-20 years old is roughly the age bracket that a person is supposed to go on the whole epic journey of discovering their identity...then i'm already past the half way mark. And i've learnt a fuckload about myself since i was 10...so...four more years to go isn't that bad. Anyway yeah, it was just a thought that occured to me when i needed some self-motivation to 'keep on swimming'. But then again, i definately strongly agree that people are forever learning new things about themselves, from the day they are born until the day they die. But then, 10-20 seems to be classified as the most intense...with adolesence and all, 'trying the shoes on' and all that jazz.
So......yeah...Meh - it's something to think about.  

^^^sLoGAn GenERaToR
suppose i should write in here sooner or later.
i haven't been able to write, at all, for the last few months. it is really, really fucking irritating.
i guess part of me has given up on trying to express myself.
it's too fucking complicated.
feeling something so much to the point of feeling nothing.
and...it's really hard....to do...anything.
but i guess that's just all part of my wonderful little diagnonsence.

..."Both Sides Now" - Joni Mitchell.
I love Emma Thompson's character  in 'Love Actually' - how she says this song taught her how to feel.
That is such a beautiful movie.
I feel like talking to someone about something. Anything. Anyone.
I wish you were here.
Yes, you - who is reading this now - i wish you were here.
Oh my god, so don't want to hear this song *skips song*...
That song-shuffle-email-thingy that went around a few days ago has infectious effects, we did a sheet of them all through art today.
It's kind of like an oracle.
Soooo time-consuming.
I should go.
But no one is telling me to get offline, and i don't have much work to do.
So i won't.

WHICH SONG DESCRIBES THE STATE OF MY BRAIN AT PRESENT?
'Fogtown' - Michelle Shocked

hehe - it's true too, it's funny and true.
Speaking of the Simpsons, i watched an episode tonight for the first time in waaaaaaaaay too long. I realised how much i fucking love that show, they're like a second family to me lol. It almost feels like i've been neglecting them. Oh dear. 

WHAT DOES MY FUTURE INVOLVE?
'Scar Tissue' - Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Aww...not liking that one *new song*...

"Betterman" - John Butler Trio.

...Meh, over it now.

Okay, EXCITING THINGS THAT HAPPENED TODAY:
- Davo recieved a package at the office!!
- I decided to drop extension english
- The builder men put up giprock (jiprock? :S) on the walls in the renovation room
- I did the economics questions that were slightly causing me grief.

I think that's about it.

...I wish i could write more about the things going through my brain that actually MEAN something. But i can't, for a number of reasons. The main one being that i can't decipher them myself, so they would be barely comprehendable to anyone else.

"The Unforgiven II" - Metallica.

This song is....amazing.
I was thinking a while ago, the best word to describe our clothesline is MAGNIFICENT. (If that is even how you spell it. *feels dumb*)
But seriously, it just stands on top of the little grassy hill thing, infront of the hills, sky, and powerlines, holding up clothes and looking all strong and powerful-like. It looks brilliant when the sun is setting behind it. And it swings around in the breeze and makes the freaky horror movie squeaking noise that is somehow comforting. But it's so...bold...so content, so sturdy and balanced....magnificent.
I like clotheslines.
They're so simple. They are there to serve a purpose, and they do it reliably, on a regular basis.
*sigh*

"Me And Bobby McGee" - Janis Joplin.

Anyway, it's time for a cup of tea.
Goodnight all.

^^^SLoGaN gEneRaToR

flatlined.
meh.
tired.
confused.
lost.
alone.
not caring, about anything.
out of my skin.
relaxed.
not wanting to do anything.
but wanting to do everything.

...don't tell me this.
not while i'm in this headspace.

feeling sick.
really, really sick.
missing you.
all of you.
already.

incapable.
unworthy.
stupid.
pathetic.

"well i never thought i'd end up here, never thought i'd be standing where i am.
i guess i kinda thought it would be easier than this, i guess i was wrong."

^^^SLoGan GeNerAToR...
Sunday.
Easter.
Listening to The Cranberries.
Waiting.
Watching.
Smiling.
Feeling normal.
It's nice sometimes.
Thinking...
Ben Harper now.
"So many people to love in my life, why do i worry about one?"
Cordial.
Red Cordial.
Sunshine.
Sigh...
Remembering Thursday night.
Good times, bad times.
Collapsing near the bridge in a fucking mess.
Crying, bawling, screaming, headache.
Why - I don't know.
Numb from cold.
Hating life, wanting to die.
'Wish it away, wish it away.'
Breakdown.
Again.
One certain person, sitting with me, talking to me, holding me.
I can't thank her enough.
Sometimes just one person telling you that they don't want you to die is enough to keep you going.
Sometimes.
Returning to party. Drinking it away.
Reaching the point where it seems the only thing you can do is laugh.
Singing. Laughing. Trying to forget.
Pushing it into the back of my head to deal with later.
Ben Harper, again.
"So hard to do, so easy to say. But sometimes, sometimes you just have to walk away."
Loving this song.
It played in my head for the majority of Thursday night.
It perfectly soundtracked more than a few situations of the night, but mainly just because it was stuck in my head.  
Associating songs with memories is one of my favourite things, it's pulled me through so many times....but it can turn into a tragedy all too easily.
Though for some reason i am still 100% in love with that song.
Grinspoon now. Bad Funk Stripe.
Skyrocketed to this week's top 10 on my playlist.
"I'm a small portion of a sampled origin..."
*hopes sal is reading this and feels sudden urge to listen to this song*
Sun shining through the window.
Making weird patterns on the chair.
Have you ever noticed that the little cursor, the white arrow one, or the little egg-timer thingy, has a little shadow? That is so cool. Go team Microsoft. w00t.

"Lift operator, lift me up better
I know you do it well
cuz i've seen you when you're in the rain
and your pain won't go back."

Hmmm...i might leave it at that for today.
Happy Easter everyone.

^^^^ Slogan Generator. My new favourite thing. I think from now on, all of my blogs will be titled by this wonderful machine.

feels like it's happening again.
labelling myself with this rank, again...
sitting on the platform, swinging my legs, and looking around.
that's about all i can do...

i'm beginning to wonder if it's just all in my head. 
or if it's really a part of me, and is going to keep recurring forever.
somehow, i know the bulk of it is subconscious...which is kinda contradictory...*brain hurts*
why would i wish it upon myself though?
it's not exactly FUN.
i guess it happens between everyone.
so do i just absorb myself in it??
why, WHY do i put myself in this situation all the time?
fuck it.
fuck her, fuck him, fuck them, fuck everyone.
fuck you.
geez thats a bit too agressive for this hour.
sorry bout that.
it's just....ERGHHHH.
that's it - just ERGHHHH.
So fucking complicated.
But so fucking simple.
so different, but so, so new.
so sure, and so damn uncertain.
so beautiful, so ugly.
okay, enough of that.

i wonder how many people reading this think that it's about them. it'd be interesting to know actually.....no wait, i don't want to know.
i REALLY don't want to know.

i think i need some sort of vent. someone to just dump it all on. god i wish it was that easy.
FUCK i want to just turn off my brain. i'm so FUCKING tired of arguing with myself. it doesnt get me anywhere. ANYWHERE. just around in fucking circles.

OVER IT.
Over it all. Need to get out. Somewhere i've never been before.
An unfamiliar environment.
Just to see how i can fuck it up.
God dammit.

Okay...i can't do this. I'm just going to quit while i'm ahead. Climb up before i fall. 
So, goodbye. Thank-u, and good luck.
Don't visit me.

hmm...don't really have anything to say - just thought i should blog sooner or later.
everything is going well - really well - maybe a bit too well....keeping in mind that the higher you climb up the ladder the harder you hit the ground if/when you fall....
anyway....

ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF THE DAY:
-did speech
-wrote extension essay
-wrote part A extension response
-remembered entire lyrics to a song from the little mermaid
-sorta-kinda started CFS assessment
-managed to get "baby give it up" stuck in both mum's and my head all day
-thought a bit about...stuff

....1.5 days left before holidays!!! Then it's all partying and catching up with friends until the 19th when i'm off to lismore again...until the 23rd. Then MOOTIME on the 29th!!!! *gets excited*
....Then aside from a few appointments here and there, i dont really have anything else planned. Except a fuckload of school work, but i can do most if not all of it on the train.

OMG, everyone go here --> http://thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi?word=teapot" title="http://thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi?word=teapot" target="_blank"http://thesurrealist.co.uk/sl...
this site is so freegin addictive. hours of entertainment, right there.
anyway...
tired
exhausted
happy
weary
thirsty
excited
wishing some ppl would come online...
*waits a bit longer*
ehh...might just go to bed.
yaaay get to see people tomorrow.
last full day at school!!! w00t.
nite all. :) 

...some people live and think inside the square.
They are confined between the four walls.
They are happy.
They are confident.
They are not afraid.
They are oblivious.
They believe what people tell them.
They have two alternatives - happy or sad.
They are focused on getting from A to B.
They are blissfully ignorant.
They are "HOW" people.

...some people live and think outside the square.
Their mind is as expansive as the universe they are part of.
They are curious.
They are philosophical.
They can feel many things at once.
They look down on the people living in the square.
They are all about questions.
They "think too much".
They are scared.
They are sad.
They become mentally ill.
They are aware.
They are "WHY" people.

WHICH SIDE IS THE DREAM AND WHICH SIDE IS REALITY??

I guess the goal is to balance both worlds and settle with a happy medium.
Walk along the red line.
One shoulder on each side.
Some people have it down, they don't even think about the way they live, their perspective on the world. They don't have to. Because they're rolling on perfectly. They're living, not surviving.

I have a lot of trouble balancing between the two. It seems i can never be happy in either one. In the square it's too confined, too repetitive, too oblivious for me to breathe.
Out of the square there's too much room, too many thoughts, and it's daunting, frustrating, scary, endless.....questioning existence to the point where i don't want to be a part of it.
I need boundaries, but i need space.
Space to be spontaneous. Space to think.
But boundaries to structure me, to keep me sane.
It seems as soon as i settle into one side of the red line something will happen, whether it's a movie i watch or something someone says, and it'll push me right over to the other.

I wonder if it’s possible to stay balanced on the red line for an entire lifetime. To never fall into either side. Both have their positives and negatives i guess…it is kinda hard to choose.

ahhhh its so nice to get away for a few days. Just to reframe everything and clear your head in a different environment. i love the rainbow region. did the whole self-conversation of "omg i could just drop out of school and move up here with these guys and work or go to tafe or something"...seemed like such a devine plan. a rrrrreally fucking tempting plan. But no. I stay. Although i question my reasons sometimes, i still stay.
Anyway - we got back a few hours ago, and i feel so different to the person i was a few days ago. It may be because i'm sick, cold, and majorly sleep deprived, but i feel better. Refreshed, much clearer, and slightly more coherent.
It made me realise how fucked up my headspace was before i left hehe.
I'm giving up on the relationships i've been submissive towards, well not giving up on the actual relationships themselves, just my perspective on them.
....Omg i think i just typed (and backspaced) the most agressive thought i've ever had in my life...hmm...not going to post that here lol....shizt.
Anyway, basically i'm not going to lose any more sleep over people who don't care anyway.
Well there u go, a sentence that began and ended with "anyway"...
....It feels like a different season today. Something changed this weekend. i don't know what it was, but something DEFINATELY changed.
Its a good change, positive change, but...yeah...
Anyway i should go.